Friday, October 12, 2012

yang terpantang, dan yang terlarang

Recently at Elvy's wedding, some of my girlfriends and I had a brief discussion about kepercayaan orang orang tua time dulu dulu when it comes to kahwing kahwing and one of my bride-to-be girlfriends Ellia (her wedding will be three weeks from mine!) suggested a blog entry about pantang larang for bakal pengantin Melayu.

I thought it was an interesting topic and how apt is it that Sham (who got married last weekend) recently tweeted about the 44 pantang larang Melayu for bakal pengantin via this blog?

(List is available on Wiki as well.)

Our dear Chinese friends who subscribe strongly to Chinese culture might get shivers down their spines though, because there's 44 pantang larang, haha! (For those who didn't get it, 4 is considered an unlucky number in Chinese culture because it is nearly homophonous to the word "death". I would like to point out that the person who did the blog entry numbered his/her list incorrectly though, and the total number of so-called pantang larang should be 43, and not 44.)

I reproduce some of the listed pantang larang here for sharing purposes!
Jangan keluar dengan pasangan selama 40 hari sebelum diijabkabul untuk mengelakkan tohmahan masyarakat. Selain itu ia bertujuan untuk mengawal nafsu. Ia juga untuk menimbulkan perasaan rindu dendam. Perasaan yang timbul akan membuatkan wajah pengantin lebih berseri.
Some of my friends practise this! (although their agreed period is usually lesser than 40 hari). I kind of like the idea of not seeing my mat days before our akad nikah but don't think we'll do it for 40 days before... I'm not that kuat semangat to not see my mat for more than a month haha FREAK. 

Will most probably decide on period of two or three weeks before the wedding?
(Ok this is very salah bawak ok guys, mak tak ajar eh pandai pandai sendiri tweaking pantang larang!)

Jangan tidur di rumah orang takut terkena ilmu. Ia juga untuk menjaga nama baik keluarga. Jangan bebas keluar kemana-mana kerana takut disantau oleh mereka yang mempunyai niat tidak baik.

(Well, actually, if memang ada orang dengki and memang dah nak terjadi, it can happen even if you tidur at your own place or selubung diri with selimut and duduk terperap kat rumah. I had a relative who "terkena ilmu" few months before her wedding and never recovered even after her wedding day. I know some people don't believe in such supernatural things or black magic but in order to explain it, I'll have to elaborate more on this - which I do not want to do - so let's just keep it at that.

The whole extended family tried everything - hospitals, specialists, medical experts, ustazs and ustazahs, religious people, spiritual healers, shamans, western medical treatments, laboratory tests, prayers, traditional malay therapy, you name it, we did it, we tried it, but we never found any cure or solution in time for her wedding.

Bless her (then) fiance, who refused to cancel the wedding and went ahead to nikah her (although they scrapped the sanding at pelamin part because of her condition) even though she looked like a living skeleton because she lost a lot of weight, developed dark circles around her protruding eyes, lost most of her hair, and was unable to speak or react and had to be held and moved slowly and painfully with the help and support of our family members.

She eventually passed away one week after her wedding.)

Jangan makan nasi dengan gulai berkuah beberapa bulan sebelum naik pelamin bagi mengelakkan perut buncit.

(Mamat aku kalau tak makan nasi and gulai berkuah pun memang tetap boncit seh hahahaha)

Elakkan makan ulam yang berbau busuk seperti petaidan jering.

(Especially bakal pengantin lelaki. Kalau tak, bila nak lafaz akad nikah, pengsan tok kadi nanti)

Kawal makan iaitu sekali makan setiap hari (mengikut sesetengah adat)

(In other words................................... diet lah tu.)

Elakkan terkena cahaya matahari kerana dikhuatiri hitam dan tidak berseri pada hari perkahwinan.

(Matahari no matahari both our skin memang hitam seh hahahahaha)

Jangann bercelak atau berlangir serta memotong rambut seminggu sebelum ijabkabul.

(Nooooooooooooooooo my celaaaaakkk)

Jangan buat kerja yang berat. Bila pengantin membuat kerja berat, dia akan berasa penat dan mudah terjadi nya gangguan emosi.

(Nak apply for 1 month pre-wedding leave ah gini.)

Jaga pertuturan agar tidak menimbulkan rasa sakit hati.

(Yang ni memang proven so I believe in this! So must ingat to seal my mulut dengan stapler gun once I hit the 1-year-before-wedding mark.

As it is, sepatutnya you must jaga pertuturan whether or not you're a bakal pengantin lah, because memang tak bagus to have mulut jahat or mulut takde insurance. Cuma, yelah, apakan daya... kita kan manusia, mesti ada cacat cela nya......................... HAHA alasan.)

Jangan cukur kening ditakuti akan menghilangkan seri muka.

(Planning to stop my threading sessions (and full face make-up) six months before wedding. Habis lah, next year Hari Raya must go jalan raya with my original kening all grown back... kalau aku punya original kening memang arched and cantik takpe, my original kening kalau grow back dah macam misai Anil Kapoor, tak kelakar lah sak.)

Lempar baju di atas bumbung rumah tanpa diketahui oleh orang lain bagi mengelakkan hujan turun ketika majlis berlangsung.

(Doa and sembahyang hajat je lah, nak lempar baju atas bumbung ni semua ape ke jadah, cik kak.)

Dilarang memandang cermin ketika disolek oleh juruandam kerana dikhuatiri hilang seri.

(That's it, kalau mak andam make-upkan macam The Joker pun kau won't know until it's too late.)

Kedua pengantin dilarang bercakap ketika bersanding kerana kurang manis dipandang tetamu.

(Bedek seh. Kalau pengantin tak talk to each other nanti tetamu ingatkan gaduh seh.)

Jangan makan kepala ayam nanti mengantuk masa bersanding.

(Who the hell eats kepala ayam ni?! *judgy eyes*
(And what has kepala ayam got to do with ngantukness??? Is there something inside a kepala ayam that will make you ngantok??? Is this proven by science??? Omg if this is proven by science, does this mean there is a possibility that one of the ingredients inside sleeping pills is kepala ayam?! HORROR.))

Elakkan keluar rumah tanpa tujuan kerana angan-angan yang tinggi menjelang perkahwinan dikhuatiri bakal pengantin mengalami kemalangan jika berada diluar.

(Ok this one cannot make fun eh, because this one pernah happen many times before. I think this is also considered a part of what people call "darah manis"?)

Ok I'm not a particularly superstitious person but I do try to follow or adhere to those that I personally think has its benefits, its valid reasons or those proven to be right because I think it's better to be safe than sorry when it comes to some of the pantang larang. After all, this is one of your most special days of your life we're talking about seh.

Of course the pantang larang yang obviously datang from zaman kuno and tak masuk akal or tak bawak afdhal you can, I don't know, campak je atas bumbung or something.

16 comments:

  1. strong feeling you will langgar all! hehehe..kidding kidding! the ilmu stuff is scary, ini lah org dengki..

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    1. hahaha must try lah at least!!! and yes, the ilmu stuff is really scary... i don't understand why people resort to such things :(

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  2. part darah manis tu memangggg! so baik baik lah ye cik farnamalsss :p

    but some of your responses made me ketawa terbahak-bahak dalam ofis LOLOLOL!

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    1. part darah manis tu veryyyyy seram ye kak... especially when it's the kind macam you and your fdr experienced eh! haha

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  3. haha. this entry is hilarious babe! I bet if I follow the cukur kening one for 6 months I will end up looking like... the grinch.

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    1. thanks! you didn't follow the cukur kening one? i'm still 50/50 about it and might just be too chicken to follow it for full 6 months. think i'll tweak it to... after hari raya (2 months plus before my wedding) :p

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  4. Wow.. the pantang larang.. I think most of us BTB will not adhere to it.. hehee..

    Because..
    1) I already plan NOT to meet my tunang a week before nikah.
    2) Au-naturel a month before (Pengsan nanti orang sekeliling to see me w/o makeup)
    3) I keje kat USS.. how to avoid the sun?? Hari-Hari i sental SPF 50.
    LOL

    On a serious note.. the black magic and accident very the scary.. We can only pray and doa that Allah swt protect us from the evil wrongdoings.

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    1. hahaha some do try, but to follow alllll the pantang larang will be too much ah!

      and yes, all these black magic incidents very seram for bakal pengantin! accidents, cannot really say or blame anyone because kalau memang fated to happen then it will happen, i guess :(

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  5. OMG! Haha I cannot ikut the pantang about make-up! I dah lah naturally no kening (opp of most of you sedih tak terkata) and if tak bercelak dah orang ingat alien mane dah drop by to visit. And about the tak jumpa 40 days tuu... Aiyoh who want to send me to work then? Skip skip skip all the pantang except the jaga pertuturan. I shall just pray for the best. You my dear have the gift of the funny!

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    1. aiyo i wish i can sedekah some of my kening to you then!

      oooh i know what you mean about the tak bercelak part... i think the only time i don't bercelak is when i'm at home. turun kedai bawah for five minutes pun die die must wear celak.

      and you're right - paling penting is to pray banyak banyaaakkk for the best, hopefully nothing untoward happens!

      hehe, and thank you very much awak! if only you can hear what my mamat has to say (about everything and anything) as well... now that man is a born funnyman.

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  6. Firstly, i love your blog! so many helpful useful tips.
    May i know more about the black magic thingy? i have experience it twice by the same person. I'm scared that he might try it again closer to my wedding or even on my wedding day itself.

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  7. please email me at litmissy@hotmail.com

    Thanks Babe

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  8. Hi Farhana, my name is Farhana. coming from another similarly named person. that sounded a little weird. heh.

    Today I stumbled upon your blog at work and .. (wait for it) I COULD NOT stop laughing lah seh! WHY YOU SO FUNNY ONE! sampai cover mouth seh nak tahan terbahak dekat kerja. haha.

    LoveLove your sharings! :D in sha Allah mine will be next year, so now tgh doing researches and comparisons (mcm auditor) on all the important stuffs first. So your sharing is caring posts are super helpful to me! :)

    Oh btw, I do monograms, personalised frames and wedding stuff too. check it out ! www.fb.com/fromfranwithlove

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    1. thank you so so much for leaving this awesome comment, oh dear namesake! haha.

      glad you enjoy the entries and hopefully, some of the information can help you in your preparation ya. enjoy the journey while it lasts, babe!

      and thanks for the link, will add your page on facebook shortly! :D

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  9. this is hilarious!!!!! i shall share this on my blog! thaaankkssss for making wedding preps a lil lighthearted!

    wenakkahwin.blogspot.com

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    1. hahaha thank you!!! i add you on my blogroll ok! :D

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